In the News

MILTON, Mass. —Massachusetts police said an armed bank robber attempted to flee pursuit by driving a Vespa motor scooter onto an expressway.

Police hope that, in the future, more criminals will make an effort to look that cool.

HILDESHEIM, Germany —German authorities said a British man has been arrested for allegedly conning people into buying potatoes disguised as iPods and other electronics.

The victims realized the fraud when they discovered that the potatoes actually supported Flash and picture messaging.

FAIR OAKS, Calif. —A California teenager announced the creation of an iPhone application called “A Note to God,” which allows users to send their prayers into cyberspace.

A spokesperson for Heaven said they were surprised at how many people were praying for help in moving large sums of money out of Nigeria accounts.

CLEARWATER, Fla. —U.S. professional wrestling icon Hulk Hogan and his estranged wife, Linda, say they have reached a settlement in their divorce case.

Lawyers say that, under the terms of the agreement, the deed to the couple’s house will be placed at the top of a ladder inside a steel cage, and the first spouse to reach it will win the title.

AUGUSTA, Maine —Canadian logging companies routinely violate laws by hiring foreign loggers to work in Maine and discouraging local ones from applying, a state official says.

Officials are openly wishing that the companies wooden do that.

NEW YORK —U.S. markets closed mixed Tuesday after technology giant IBM said it would purchase software analysis firm SPSS for $1.2 billion.

The new company is said to be desperately in need of more vowels.