Blogger now allows you to post from a standard text message, just like this post which really talks about nothing what so ever.

In the News

MILTON, Mass. —Massachusetts police said an armed bank robber attempted to flee pursuit by driving a Vespa motor scooter onto an expressway.

Police hope that, in the future, more criminals will make an effort to look that cool.

HILDESHEIM, Germany —German authorities said a British man has been arrested for allegedly conning people into buying potatoes disguised as iPods and other electronics.

The victims realized the fraud when they discovered that the potatoes actually supported Flash and picture messaging.

FAIR OAKS, Calif. —A California teenager announced the creation of an iPhone application called “A Note to God,” which allows users to send their prayers into cyberspace.

A spokesperson for Heaven said they were surprised at how many people were praying for help in moving large sums of money out of Nigeria accounts.

CLEARWATER, Fla. —U.S. professional wrestling icon Hulk Hogan and his estranged wife, Linda, say they have reached a settlement in their divorce case.

Lawyers say that, under the terms of the agreement, the deed to the couple’s house will be placed at the top of a ladder inside a steel cage, and the first spouse to reach it will win the title.

AUGUSTA, Maine —Canadian logging companies routinely violate laws by hiring foreign loggers to work in Maine and discouraging local ones from applying, a state official says.

Officials are openly wishing that the companies wooden do that.

NEW YORK —U.S. markets closed mixed Tuesday after technology giant IBM said it would purchase software analysis firm SPSS for $1.2 billion.

The new company is said to be desperately in need of more vowels.

Could Apple and ATT have been lying to us?

They said it couldn’t be done. They said the radio simply wouldn’t allow it. But that, as it turns out, is hooey. Despite Apple’s protestations to the contrary, it appears that the original iPhone is perfectly capable of sending and receiving Multimedia Messages (MMS).

Of course, that doesn’t mean there’s necessarily an above-board way to, in the words of Jean-Luc Picard, make it so. However, if you happen to have jailbroken your phone and have access to the Cydia installer, you can find an application called, intuitively enough, ActivateMMS2G.

Now, your results may vary, and even if you do manage to get MMS enabled, its use may be limited by your wireless provider, so, as always, proceed at your own risk. The package also advises not installing on the 3G or 3GS, so, well, don't.

Frankly, Apple’s claim always seemed to be a little suspect to me. There are plenty of cheap and free phones on the market that handle MMS adroitly and have been doing so for years—you’re telling me that one of the most advanced smartphones on the market in 2007 couldn’t deal with sending picture messages?

And still we continue to await AT&T completing whatever strange and sinister incantations and rituals are required to get MMS on the iPhone 3G and 3GS. My life will not be complete until I can send pictures of my cat doing funny things to everybody I have ever met.

Yes, these people do exist.

Serial-Numbers-We-Love-You

I type in my share of cryptic serial numbers. Product registrations, software keys, warranty info–any number of associated features and services are often only accessible by entering in a series of letters and numbers. And over the years, I’ve developed an opinion or two about them. Here are some:

First, do serial numbers have to be so long? If you’re Adobe and you’re protecting an entire suite of products, well then, OK. You have a big product. But a children’s toy or a power tool? If you have a kid on your lap, do you really want a parent to type LL95-TG6H-ES64-G9D7-XTS7-MX96-3JAA??? I say, if someone is able to hack the Beanie Babies 2.0 code system, they’ve earned their virtual stuffed animal. Keep in mind that the IRS tracks the entire US Population with just nine numerical characters.

Second, PLEASE stop mixing numerals like zero or one, with letters like lower case l or captital O. They both look the same and I can’t tell which is which.

Third, make the code you want REALLY OBVIOUS in the packaging. Too frequently, I get a box full printed matter, each with an assortment of numerals. We often don’t know the difference between a UPC, WebID, or the 56 other random sets of numbers included with the product. If you require a code, make it obvious.

Finally, stop waterboarding my brain with a form that asks me to fill in my name, pets name, mother’s birthplace, and the place where my great Aunt Alice first tasted ice cream before submitting me to a 34 character typing test, only to give me an error, and making me start from scratch. At the very least, let me prove my validity to you up front, and then treat me with the dignity worthy of a paying customer.

Anyone else fed up? Then join me, by registering at my free Web site, Just use the serial number 100looI-o0ol1lii7H65-sdf*^@(&%^-$/25565xylt-34-ZTstr (it is case sensitive).

A few props to fortunes!

After reading this fortune, I am taking these numbers to and going to Vagas...Vegus...Veges.. That place where you can win money.

More props to Chinese English (Engrish I think it is called)!

This is quite the airline!

Some folks will do anything to prevent the swine flu.

Gotta love the Chinese.

Perhaps my favorite name.

Some Last Names Rock. Can you imagine.

Virus Alert!!!!!!

Is the devil you know—and expect—better than the one you don't?

Consider this: You run into person No. 1—let's call her Melissa—on the street. Without warning, Melissa hits you in the face and then proceeds to beat you up as you lie on the ground.

Then, person No. 2, Michelangelo, walks up to you and calmly states that in two weeks time, at exactly 2 p.m., he will beat you up. Then he walks away.

Now, while neither is a pleasant scenario, I have a feeling that the majority of people would rather run into Michelangelo than Melissa.

While there is definitely fear and trepidation about the impending date Michelangelo gives you, at least you can do something about it. You could make sure that a couple of big friends are with you at the appointed time, or take martial arts training, or notify the authorities, or just get out of town. At least you can prepare in some way. With Melissa, you are down on the pavement getting beaten up before you even know what hit you (literally).

Likewise, it's easier to deal with a computer virus or worm that purports to hit on a certain day rather than one that just hits. The latter is the one you really need to worry about.

But, strangely enough, people take the opposite attitude with these viruses. Try to tell someone about a dangerous new virus, and you're likely to get little interest. You'll get responses like, "Yep, I hear those viruses are nasty. That reminds me, I need to patch my system and update my anti-virus—maybe I can get around to that next week."

However, if you say that the same virus will hit on a specific date—say, April 1—people get a lot more interested. "Wow, it's like a time bomb! What do I have to do to protect my system right away?!" Hence the seven-hundred email warnings I got this week!!!!!

To a large degree, this phenomenon is driven by those in the media. Tell a reporter, especially a general media reporter, about a dangerous new virus, and he or she will see it as just another in a long line of viruses. But tell the reporter that the virus will do something dastardly on a specific date, and suddenly the reporter is much more interested in telling the story.

Oh well, if you can't beat them, join them. Maybe those in the security community should embrace this time bomb obsession and regularly report that there are viruses and worms that will take effect on a specific date.

I can see it now. People, I must warn you—there's a dangerous virus out there. [Snore.] It will steal data from your computer and compromise your identity. [Whatever.] Ummm, it will also find every embarrassing picture and e-mail on your system and send them to your parents. [Uh oh!] And it will look at your iTunes list and tell all your cool friends that your favorite artist is Engelbert Humperdinck. [Oh no!] And it will take effect on Mother's Day! [Ahhhh! Call IT—we need to protect my system!]

OK, if you did this you would be fudging the truth a bit. But it might get people to pay attention to security. And that's definitely better than an unexpected punch in the face. It might also save me the hundreds of forwarded emails warning me of this terrible virus.

The Real Mary Poppins

This Trailer sets the stage for my feelings of the movie. It is without a doubt the most freightening movie of all time (except maybe Gone with the Wind).

What the *%$@#@$#$^#^^%$@#!

You know what ticks me off?

These days, blogs and Web sites often require you to prove that you’re human by typing in the text version of some distorted picture of a word. The idea is to screen out automated software spambots that fill the Comments area with auto-generated ads.

The problem is, these word verifications (sometimes called Captchas) are sometimes so distorted, even a human couldn’t figure out what they are. It doesn’t help much that they’re often not even real words.

As I attempted to access an educational site today to order some materials I got this one.


I think I am going to add this one for anyone who wants to read my blog!

Come on!!!!

Which Browser is Fastest?

According to a recent series of tests done by Microsoft, Internet Explorer 8 is the fastest browser available today. Of course, it doesn't take a lot of searching to find similar studies claiming that Google Chrome or Firefox or Safari or Opera or WebKit is the fastest browser available today.

So what do I think about all of these "fastest browser" tests? Which do I think is the most valid. Well, in the immortal words of Bill Murray in Meatballs, "it just doesn't matter!"

That's right. When it comes to the modern web and modern web browsers, the last thing that most people should care about when choosing a browser is its speed.

Sure, browser performance used to matter. When I did browser comparisons in the 1990's I did more than my fair share of performance tests.

But when I did those tests I used a stopwatch and saw differences in performance that sometimes reached minutes!

In these modern series of web browser speed tests, the differences in performance are often measured in milliseconds. That literally means that if you blink you'll miss the difference in speed between one browser and the next.

Face it, right now all browsers are more than fast enough. And if you're running into slow performance on the web, you should probably check about one hundred other things (ISP performance, site problems, etc.) before you start wondering about browser speed.

So why is every single browser maker spending so much time and resources trying to gain the mantle of fastest web browser? I think it's because performance is the only non-objective criteria that they can hang their hat on.

Most people choose a browser because they like how it works, they like the feature set or the UI or the extensibility or that they are just comfortable with it. But while it's hard to tell a developer to make a browser that people will like, it's much easier to tell them to come up with some way that they can say that their browser is faster than the competition.

But right now this is all a waste of time and resources. We would all be much better off if browser makers were spending these resources on important tasks like making browsers more secure.

Sure, someday performance might matter in browsers, especially when it comes to JavaScript performance. We may see applications that are so big and complex that these millisecond speed differences will become longer and more noticeable.

But right now we are just measuring the differences between browsers that are fast and others that are also fast. And it just doesn't matter.

Help! Technology has taken over my life!

Oh no! Technology has taken over my life! There's no escaping it! What am I to do?

If these kinds of statements sound familiar to you, then you've probably been exposed to the frequent handwringing about the invasion of technology into our modern lives and how it's turning everyone into anti-social introverts who constantly stare at their phones and other gadgets.

A recent article in the Boston Globe took this idea even further with a piece titled "The End of Alone." In the article, the author discusses how new technology is making it basically impossible to enjoy or even have moments of solitude. The author essentially says that if Thoreau were alive today, he'd be busy at Walden Pond texting pals, updating his Twitter feed and checking his friends' Facebook status.
The article makes some good points and uses some good data to illustrate how people, especially younger adults, are constantly checking their phones and other social technology systems.

But whenever someone says that technology invades life, is impossible to get away from and makes being alone impossible, I have to disagree.
The last time I checked, these phones and other technology systems weren't embedded in our skulls (at least not yet, anyway). To be alone, just don't bring your technology with you, or turn it off. It's really not that hard.
I do it all the time. I like to take walks, and my phone pretty much never comes with me.

When I go on vacation, even if I'm in a city where connections are plentiful, any technology I bring with me spends most of its time off and is mainly used for looking up restaurants and other things to do, not for checking Facebook or e-mail.
Of course, as the Boston Globe article points out, some people have a hard time unplugging. They can actually become physically distressed if they don't have access to their phones and Internet connections.

To me, this says a lot more about these people than it does about modern technology, and what's being said is hardly new.

If, like me, you grew up in the 1970s or '80s, you probably knew people who were hyper-social--the girls who would spend hours on the phone, the guys who would smother their girlfriends with attention, the person who was always trying to organize big get-togethers.

You also probably knew the kids who spent 10-plus hours watching TV, or the guys who would play video games at all hours.

Is there really any difference between these people and the girl who IMs her friends constantly, or the guy who texts his girlfriend non-stop, or the heavy Facebook user, or the "Internet addicts"?

Of course, there are some people who are essentially addicted to their phones and connective technologies. These are the people who become physically distressed without their phones.

But again, this is really about the person and not the technology. Addictive personalities have existed forever. Maybe we should be glad these people are addicted to their tech. It's certainly better than being an alcoholic or drug addict.
So while these technologies have certainly greatly changed our lives--and mostly for the better--they haven't made it impossible to be alone. Anyone who wants to be alone and enjoy their solitude can choose to be alone. And some people will choose not to be.

Me, I'm going on vacation. My laptop will stay in the room to be used sparingly, my phone will stay off in my bag, and the only technology that I'll carry with me will be my camera.

Oh yeah, and my MP3 player. But that's not a new thing. Since I was a teen with a Sony Walkman, I've had to have my tunes with me when I went to the beach. That's how I do alone time. Me, the beach, the ocean and The Clash.

To all you Bloggers out there

I Am Amazing

My 20 Things List

Given the current "25 things you might not know about me" craze, there are a lot of people out there who have to tell you all kinds of things about themselves. This whole thing seems a bit nuts to me, after all, if there are things about me that people don't know, it's probably because I don't want them to know these things.

While I've tended to ignore these lists as they've ended up in my mail or Facebook updates, the one's I have read tended to be pretty positive and good natured. Again, this seems nuts to me. In my opinion, if you really want to know someone, you should find out the things that they hate, the things that really drive them nuts.

So to put my money where my mouth is, I've done just that. Without further ado, here is my list (in no particular order) of the Twenty Things about Technology that Drive Me Nuts.

1) Comment lists that start with the newest comments - You ever read a really interesting online article or blog post and get excited to find out what other people are saying about it? And then, when you look at the comments, it feels like you've walked into the end of a conversation? Please, to every blog, Web site or anyone else who has comment lists, order them oldest to newest. You didn't write your post or article backwards. A comment thread can be just as much a story as anything else. Start it from the beginning.

2) Constant Status Updates - Awww, Maria is tired from her late night. And Jack is feeling stuffed from his big lunch. And Carol is nervous about her big meeting this afternoon. You know what? I don't care! If I want to know what you're doing or feeling or thinking right now, I'll ask you, OK?

3) Creeping Applications - I think I'm going to call Al Gore and ask to borrow his lockbox (I don't think he's using it for anything). And then I'll take it and throw every app on my systems in it and make them stay in their own place. I'm sick of so many apps that I install sticking themselves into all other facets of my system. Hey, I didn't say you could add an extension to Firefox, or run at startup, or constantly check to see if you have an update available. Just do the thing that I installed you to do and stop messing with the rest of my system!

4) Useless New Versions - In an old episode of The Simpsons, a fake commercial for a gaming systems says, "The new Gamestation 256. It's slightly faster... to the MAX." I always think of this when I see new versions of software or hardware products. In most cases, despite claims of the massive benefits that this new version will provide, the update is typically trivial and provides nothing much over the current version. But hey, current users get a 10 percent discount! Weeeeeeee!

5) Wireless Network Carriers - Want an idea of what the Internet would be like if network neutrality goes away? Look at the wireless network carriers. Only certain phones, apps and sites are available on certain networks. Wrong carrier? Too bad, no cool phone, video service or sweet game for you.

6) RIAA - I'm singling out the RIAA because they're the worst offender but this includes MPAA, BSA and any other group that protects their business model over the interests of everyone else in the world (including the artists and developers they supposedly protect). Through their constant lawsuits and pushing of bad laws, these groups have caused more damage to technology than anyone else. These groups would, if they could, go back in time and stop the Internet from ever happening.

7) Bad Laws - Speaking of bad laws, while the RIAA and their ilk might push these laws, it's our shortsighted and tech ignorant lawmakers who push them through Congress. DMCA, CAN-SPAM, the whole lot of copyright laws and treaties. Gee, thanks.

8) Techno Lust - AAAhhhhhhhh!!!! Did you see the latest iWhatever? It's the greatest thing ever! Everyone will want to have one. It will change your life, the world and the future of all mankind! If Einstein was alive today he would totally have 10 of these! Now jump ahead 10 months. The iWhatever? That is so lame. But I hear that the iWhatchamacallit will be totally sweet.

9) Privacy Loss - Yes, people today share all kinds of information that would have remained private many years ago. But you know what? They choose to share that information. That doesn't mean that they want every detail of their shopping and Web surfing habits in the hands of large businesses.

10) Lists - Ahem, OK, moving on.

11) Spam - Ten years ago I was stunned how much time I had to waste dealing with spam in my e-mail inbox. But I was sure that technology would figure out a way to deal with this. Now, I spend even more time dealing with spam and its spread to other tech areas outside of my e-mail. I can't even watch that Monty Python skit anymore.

12) Vendor Lock In - Have you seen that really cool new product? It's really pretty slick. One problem, though, it will only work on one operating system, with one underlying technology and one format, all from one vendor.

13) Hyped Terms - You have to check out our product. It's Web 2.0 On-Demand SOA SAAS Cloud-based Social Networking Semantic technology. What does it really do? Hmmm, I'll have to get back to you on that.

14) Business Method Patents - Several recent court decisions have dealt these patents some serious setbacks but they are still out there, driving people nuts with their obviousness and forcing actually innovative companies to waste money defending themselves against this idiocy.

15) Bad Security - I love the whole idea of the master hacker breaking through heavily defended security systems. But in reality most hacking is a matter of walking through wide open doors that businesses and people could easily close if they cared even a tiny bit about good security.

16) Religious Tech Wars - Windows stinks, Macs Rule! Oh yeah, Mac users are a bunch of annoying posers and Windows users just get things done! You're all a bunch of corporate pawns, only Linux users are truly in control. Whatever. You use what you want to use, I'll use what I want to use, and everybody shut up already.

17) Perpetual Betas - It's kind of cute, Gmail has been in beta for years now, but that doesn't stop tons of people from using it. And this practice has spread to many companies outside of Google. And you know what? This should stop right now. You know what beta means? Not ready for real use! I would never recommend any business use any application that the vendor itself isn't comfortable enough to call ready to use.

18) Locked Down Products - I mentioned apps that should be locked down from spreading across my systems. But some products go in the other direction and prevent the users from making any kind of changes, customizations or enhancements. New Mac notebooks don't even let users change the battery. If I want a toaster, I'll buy a toaster. Come to think of it, my toaster has more customization options than many of these products.

19) EULAS - By reading this post you've consented to let me make all kinds of outrageous and legally dubious claims on your rights and I'll spell out just how I can limit your rights in pages buried deep within my site that almost no one finds or reads. Sorry software user licenses and Web site terms of services. But in my book a contract is something that both parties have to actually agree to.

20) Always On - Woo hoo. Read my Twitter feed, check my Facebook updates, text me, IM me, Skype me, follow me on GPS, I'm connected everywhere and all the time! Now that I think about it, while I love tech, one of my favorite things is that I can turn off my computers, toss my phone in a drawer and go for a nice quiet walk.

Pirates get Pirated! AAARGGG!!!

If only there were more poetic justice in this world. Unfortunately, those of us who revel in such karmic resolutions have to take our kicks where we can get them. Those who live by the sword all too often don’t die by the sword—but then again, sometimes they do, and rather spectacularly at that. As they say, Justice may be blind—but she's got a wicked sense of humor.

Crackulous is a free application for jailbroken iPhones that allows you to strip the encryption on iPhone apps bought from the App Store, thus allowing you to, in the words of its developer, “share them with the community.” For those of you following along at home, this is a little thing we like to call “software piracy” or, if you prefer simpler terms, theft.

Now sure, the Crackulous team might pitch a rationalization for why cracking applications is okay:

By using the cracked .ipa files found here, you are not stealing from Apple! Use them , and if something suits you, buy the app. Support your local developers!

And, indeed, some have framed this debate in terms of the App Store’s lack of demos; you can’t try an app before you buy it. It’s true that not letting customers check out applications before purchase is a shortcoming of the App Store. But just because you can’t go into a drugstore and take a bite of the candy bar you're thinking about buying doesn’t mean that it’s okay to steal it.

But oh—the delicious irony. As it happens, some industrious person or persons decided that this sounded like a great business opportunity, so they helped themselves to the Crackulous application, and have started selling it for $10 a pop. Better yet, they added the following warning:

As of right now Crackulous is not free. You may come across websites that claim to have a free version of Crackulous but these versions have viruses which log all your information including passwords, phone numbers, contacts, and send it to people so it’s best to stay away from these shady copies. A lot of hard work and development went in to making this brilliant application. It would be unfair if it was given for free.

I don’t know if there’s a sound that poetic justice makes, but if so I hope it’s just a really loud gong. Somebody should let the Crackulous developers know that petards are really only good for one thing: namely, being hoisting by one's own.

The moral of this story? Don’t steal software. From the biggest software company to the individual developer, applications are products that people—real people—have invested their own time and money in. If you’re not the kind of person who’s going to go around boosting car radios—I mean, outside of Grand Theft Auto—why would you want to be the kind of person who nicks software?

Of course, that raises the question: what about the people who stole Crackulous? I won't condone what they did, especially after I just got through saying that piracy is wrong, but that doesn't mean I'm not amused by it. After all, like the man said: live by the sword, die by the sword. And we all know how much pirates love swords.

Windows, Windows, and even more Windows. Talk about schizophrenia!

Remember that screenshot we saw of all those different Windows 7 versions (pictured above)? Well guess what? It's worse than you could have possibly imagined. The following will be the actual new SKUs for the OS:

• Windows 7 Starter
• Windows 7 Home Basic (for emerging markets)
• Windows 7 Home Premium
• Windows 7 Professional
• Windows 7 Enterprise
• Windows 7 Ultimate

This information has been confirmed by Microsoft (who never listens to us). I am sure, if you are like me, and apparently Microsoft, one is just not enough. I love trying to figure out multiple versions of the same product.

My Brief Stint as Troy in High School Musical 3

I can't believe I got cut!!

I was so much better than Zach!!

Obama Keeps Blackberry!!

Robert Gibbs' first press conference as President Obama's Press Secretary, the most important and heated debate of our time has been put to rest. According to Gibbs, Obama will be able to keep his BlackBerry, though only a limited number of senior staff and personal contacts will have access to his email address, and the data on the handheld will be subject to the Presidential Records Act. There was no mention of the NSA or the Sectera Edge, though he does mention some enhanced security.

In Gibbs' words: "The President has a BlackBerry through a compromise that allows him to stay in touch with senior staff and a small group of personal friends in a way that use will be limited and the security is enhanced to ensure his ability to communicate, but to do so effectively and to do so in a way that's protected. Finally, a clear indication that for the first time in the 21st century, the President of the United States will act like it's the 21st century.

My JibJab Guest Appearance

Yes It is me at the end of this clip!!!

And you thought I would never amount to anything

Is the new iPhone on its way?

iPhone Firmware update Hints at A New iPhone Device

Apple may have unintentionally tipped users off to a new iPhone model that's in the works thanks to information in the combination iPod and smartphone's firmware. Mac Rumors found that the device's firmware includes a reference to "iPhone2,1" which isn't the same identifier code used for the current iPhone 3G model. Whats up Apple?

The current iPhone 3G line is identified by the "iPhone1,2" code and the original iPhone was "iPhone1,1." The "iPhone2,2" code most likely indicates a device that includes enough hardware differences from the current model to classify it as a new product, (eg... new iPhone).

Apple has already shown off its identifier code pattern with the iPod touch line. The original model was labeled as "iPod1,1" and the second generation model -- which included a faster processor, a speaker, volume controls and microphone support -- was tagged as "iPod2,1."

Apparently some Web sites are even seeing traffic from a device identified as iPhone2,1, .

While the new code could mean Apple is working on a new addition to its iPhone product line, it might also mean that the company is working on the third generation iPhone -- and that it will include enough changes to classify it as a new product, and not just an upgrade.

Gmail works offline!

Google’s Gmail Now Works Offline


Forget that hot spot….Google has obviated the need for a WiFi connection for its Gmail users, who will soon be able to gain access to their mail even when they’re offline.

The new offering, in the works for several months, incorporates a Google tool called Gears, which is already used by several web applications, including two Google products, Google Reader and Google Doc. To the use the service, users must download Google Gears. The services also brings Google up to speed with other cloud computing competitors, including Microsoft.

With the new tweak, Gmail users will be able to read, archive or write messages. Gmail has traditionally offered its webmail customers lots of space for messages and an effective spam filter. But there will likely be some restrictions on the amount of content that clients will be able to access without an Internet connection.

Here’s the formal word from Google on Offline:

“We’re making offline Gmail available to everyone who uses Gmail in US or UK English over the next couple of days, so if you don’t see it under the Labs tab yet, it should be there soon. Once you see it, just follow these steps to get started:

1. Click Settings and click the Labs tab.
2. Select Enable next to Offline Gmail.
3. Click Save Changes.
4. After your browser reloads, you’ll see a new “Offline 0.1″ link in the upper righthand corner of your account, next to your username. Click this link to start the offline set up process and download Gears if you don’t already have it.’